


Homecoming Queens

by NudorahRex



Category: VA-11 Hall-A (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Bachelorette Party, Debauchery, Drunkenness, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Marriage, Post-Canon, Sei and Stella are in a relationship but it's not a focus, Sexual Humor, time skip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:14:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24744406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NudorahRex/pseuds/NudorahRex
Summary: Anonymous commission.It's been years since VA-11 Hall-A closed, and Dana and Jill got into a relationship shortly after. Years later, after getting in and out of trouble throughout the world they realized they were meant to be and decided to get married and settle down where it all started. When the news reached their old friends back at Glitch City that they were coming back to stay, the gang gets back together for two wild bachelorette parties to celebrate their return and their upcoming wedding.
Relationships: Jill Stingray/Dana Zane
Kudos: 17





	1. Gather Your Party

**Author's Note:**

> This is very different! A friend commissioned this from me, and it's my first non-porn story! There'll be plenty of sexual humor and references, but there will be no sex scenes to be found. Hope everyone can enjoy this!

“NOBODY EXPECTS THE DOROTHINQUISITION!” The door to Dana's apartment blew open as Dorothy announced her entrance. Gil raised his head up, and sighed.

“We were literally expecting you. You told us you'd be here.”

Dana flicked Gil, who winced.

“Don't be a spoilsport. This is my bachelorette party and you will act properly hyped!” Dana gave Dorothy a thumbs up, as Gil groaned.

Dana smirked, and leaned back. For any other couple, honeymooning in Glitch City would be absolutely out of the question. But for as chaotic and ill-managed as the place was, it was to thank for bringing her to the woman she would finally settle down with. After that steamy night in Panama years back, Dana was apprehensive about beginning a proper relationship with her former employee. Yet Jill, for all her reservedness and stoicism, turned out to be the perfect yin to her yang. They'd traveled around, gotten in and out of trouble all over the world, and when they realized they were never going to be apart, Glitch City called them back. Full circle.

When they put the word out to everyone, the excitement was huge. Not only were Dana and Jill getting married, but they were coming back to Glitch City permanently! They tried to keep in touch with all the friends they'd made while operating that crazy bar, but the wild world of Dana Zane and the chaos of Glitch City made contact infrequent. Now the gang would finally be back together. Dorothy and Alma both leapt at the chance to plan bachelorette parties for Dana and Jill respectively. This was just as much a homecoming as it was a wedding.

So caught up in the excitement, in fact, that Dorothy and Alma wound up scheduling the parties on the exact same day. Dorothy played it off as part of the fun, but she was embarrassed and more than a little frustrated that she wouldn't get to crash her Honey's party. Dana laughed out loud the moment she heard the news, and actively pre-empted any attempt to reschedule. So, before the gang could get back together, the gang had to split up again. It was made clear to everyone that there would be no harsh feelings. Just choose whichever party you think you'd have the most fun at.

For Gil, making the choice between his two friends and former coworkers was painful as he really had missed both of them a lot. It ultimately came down less to fun and more a sense of loyalty; Dana had given him his life back when she employed him at VA-11 Hall-A. He looked around at the colorful cast that had assembled in her living room, and wondered what brought everyone else here. Rad Shiba and Nacho Tumbleweed Jr. were not actually supposed to be invited. Dorothy had relegated the task of getting everyone to the right place at the right time to Gil, and he had forgotten about her little phobia. She wasn't happy, but she'd suck it up for the sake of getting her wild night going.

“LE'TS GOOOOOOOO!!!” A hyped up scream signaled the entrance of someone Dorothy had personally invited. The presence of Streaming-chan really should have been something to tell people before they showed up, given how many people would be watching them now. Jamie had mostly showed up to hang out with Gil, and he might have had reservations about being on camera for a whole night, though if he did he was too polite to voice them. Deal decided to show up when he saw there would be dogs, which meant a rare separation between him and Betty.

Dorothy took a long look at her flock, and grinned. It was time to shepherd them towards a night of absolute debauchery.

* * *

Alma welcomed Jill into her apartment with a tight hug. Jill cleared her throat after a while to signal that she was being smothered, and Alma let go with a light chuckle. Jill left Fore in her old apartment, with Gabby thankfully volunteering to watch him for the night so she could enjoy a night out without worry. They spoke about what they'd been up to in the past few years as they made their way over to a kotatsu. Jill listened to Alma go on about life in the city, and smiled. She really hadn't changed much, just as open and ranty about her life and woes as she'd been since the day she came into the bar. A few more boyfriends had come and gone; each one unable to reach her high standards. Jill had stopped trying to tell her to stop expecting perfection a while ago. Would have been hypocritical coming from the girl who snagged Dana Zane.

Jill went to answer a knock at the door. She was happy to see Betty at the entrance, grinning at her and holding a wrapped gift. She gave her a light hug as she came in. Jill had honestly expected Betty to go with Dana's group, considering her wild streak and surgical attachment to Deal. It might have been because of the dogs, but Betty and Jill had grown surprisingly close as the bar closed down and kept in contact. She was one of the only people Betty felt okay with opening up to emotionally, especially with regards to Deal, and having another woman attracted to women to talk to that she hadn't slept with was valuable. She may not have shown it too openly, but Betty was among the most excited to have Jill back in town.

“Hey, Alma! Been a while. Still straight?” Betty called out over Jill's shoulder. Alma sighed.

“Yes. Still very straight.” Alma stretched and got up.

“Shame.”

“Crying shame. Could you two welcome everyone else? They should be showing up soon, and I have to get something ready.” Alma winked at Jill, and quickly made her way to the bedroom. Jill didn't know quite what she had planned, but she was sure it would be fun.

Betty started going through her phone, showing Jill a series of selfies of her with women lying in bed behind her. Jill pointed out that she'd seen these before as Betty would generally send her post-coitus images as a matter of course. Betty began to say something about how Jill stopped responding to her posts of victory with enough congratulations when a light knock at the door put a halt to this line of conversation. Jill opened the door, and looked the lithe man in the frame up and down. He had a nervous look, and wore a hot pink jacket over a white shirt. She was about to tell him he probably had the wrong address when he broke the awkward silence.

“Uh, hey, Jill. It's, uh, me.” He looked back and forth. “Alma went ahead and invited me to your little thing here, and I wouldn't usually hang out with a bunch of girls, but you helped me figure a bunch of stuff out so uh...”

“Mario!” Jill exclaimed, eyes widening with her realization.

“Y-yeah?”

“Sorry, I just had a hard time recognizing you. You've changed your look up, huh? Thanks for coming.” She welcomed him in with a smile, and he shuffled in.

Mario had certainly changed his image a lot in the past few years, owing a lot of it to Jill's frank assessment of his masculine overcompensation. He was still somewhat soft spoken and socially awkward, but it felt natural now. He'd stopped obsessively working out and practicing his glower in the mirror every morning, and felt comfortable being himself. If the past him had seen him now, done up with guy-liner and frosted tips, he'd have gone and found several new closets to hide in. So despite rare contact between them since Jill had left Glitch City, he was excited at the news and felt obligated to show up to her bachelorette party.

He explained this to a very touched Jill and a somewhat annoyed Betty. She was hoping for a friend of Jill's to show up to this and be as helplessly in need of action as the bachelorette herself was when she was a bartender. So far it was noted straight girl Alma and noted male Mario. Two strikes...

Another knock at the door. Jill opened the door and grinned wide at the sight of Sei and Stella, Betty's frown turned into a grimace. She could spot a monogamous couple from a mile away. Strike three. Stella was clad in a flashy red Chinese dress, keeping up with upper class fashions. Sei shyly stood by her in a black evening gown, holding Stella's fancy feather boa over her shoulders. She had mentioned a few times that she avoided dresses due to her musculature, so she tried using her girlfriend's accessory to disguise that. After two quick hugs, they introduced themselves to Mario and reintroduced themselves to Betty. They'd met once before at the New Year's Party held in the months prior to VA-11 Hall-A's closure, but that night had been frenetic and fueled by plenty of alcohol so they were still ostensibly strangers. Betty strained to be polite and upbeat; not just for Jill's sake but she had to hold out hope that she might have read the 'monogamous' part of their relationship wrong for her sanity.

* * *

Dorothy led her ragtag crowd of eight through one of Glitch City's red light districts. She walked the street like she owned it, because in a few respects she did. In the years since VA-11 Hall-A's closure she'd become something of a leading figure amongst the city's working girls, forming a sort of unofficial union to share opportunities and protect themselves from authorities and problem clients. So with her leading the group, the seediest streets of the city were among the safest. No one was going to get in the way of Dorothy Haze.

“Aha! Our first stop.” Dorothy halted in front of a cheap brothel.

“Oh so we're getting right into it, huh?” Gil muttered under his breath, and sighed.

“Boss! Do you know where we've been taken? Do you know what this means!?” Rad Shiba shivered with excitement, or perhaps frostbite.

“Calm down, soldier!” Nacho barked back. “Purchasing carnal pleasures is all well and illegal for the rest of our party, but for old dogs like us... DOUBLE ILLEGAL! Be on your guard.”

Dorothy turned around and smiled at the murmuring group.

“Oh, we won't be long. In fact, uh...” She looked at the dogs, and her face twitched. “Just stay out here! I'll be real quick.” Dorothy dashed into the building.

“Hey...” Deal broke the short silence. “Is she...?”

“On my big night? Bold. I like it!” Dana smirked, and crossed her arms.

“When you gotta smash, you gotta smash.” Streaming-chan spoke with a wise tone and nod.

Questions about how quick this could really be were quashed when Dorothy came bounding out of the building, with a surprised and disgruntled man in tow. He looked at the group, and glowered down at a far too innocent looking Dorothy.

“ _Hell_ no.” He muttered.

“Everyone, meet Ingram! He needs friends. He's coming with us!”

“I'm great at making friends! I've got thousands!” Streaming-chan gave a thumbs up, enthusiastically returned by Dorothy.

“Did you not hear-” Ingram started.

“We'll look out for you, Ingram! Well met!” Nacho exclaimed, and Rad Shiba stood at attention.

“Wha-”

Dana tapped her chin. “Thought he looked odd for a male stripper...”

“I'm not-”

“Oh, hey. Been a while, Ingram. Dana Zane's getting married and we're getting free drinks.” Jamie spoke up after getting a look at him.

Ingram stood, being stared at expectantly by Dorothy with her best puppy dog eyes which were backed up by two pairs of actual dog eyes. He sighed.

“Free drinks. Free drinks...” He made his way towards Gil and Jamie, and Dorothy clapped before turning around and ordering a forward march.

* * *

Alma walked out into her living room and welcomed her guests. She had worried that Jill might feel a little insecure by the size of her group compared to her fiance's but she didn't seem at all bothered. The group exchanged pleasantries and ate a few snacks as they all caught up with each other. Stella had taken up a more active role in her family's business, and started “officially” dating Sei. Sei's old white knight armor was recovered and reworked into a less state of the art but still effective suit for rescue and security work. Stella had opened up a new branch of the family business to make sure the suit's dangerous secrets were well guarded and that anything gleaned from the tech be worked into new suits designed strictly for rescue work.

Mario had found work as a mechanic a year back. One of the best parts of letting go of his adherence to the masculine ideal was finding what parts of it he did genuinely enjoy, motorcycles being one of them. His new life did have its problems; most of the other gay guys he ran into were leathermen who were exclusively into other leathermen. It gets exhausting being surrounded by gay bikers making out with each other when you can't join in on the action. Though looking around the room, he began to realize that this venting may be falling on deaf ears.

Betty rolled her eyes. “I swear, men and their safe spaces. The hell's the point of subcultures if they won't fuck across party lines?” She eyed Sei and Stella. “You girls know what I mean?”

Sei placed a thumb on her chin. “No, not really. I might be the wrong person to ask, though. I've only ever really had Stella.” Stella blushed, looking at the ceiling.

Betty squinted. “Highschool sweethearts, huh?”

Sei turned to Stella. “I don't actually know! Stella, when do you think we started being together?”

Alma looked up from her drink. “How do you not know?”

Stella cleared her throat. “It's... complicated. Even before we, ahem, came out. It took me a while to tell Sei I wanted her to be my girlfriend. Though there was definitely something... there, the whole time. But I believe I spoke up in college.” Stella hid her blush in her palm, as the rest of the room nodded.

Sei put her hand on Stella's shoulder. “Our first kiss was in highschool, though! I took you to the locker room after the game, remember?” Stella spat out her drink, redfaced.

“Sei! Don't just... bring that up!”

Betty tapped her fingers together as the rest of the room had a light chuckle. Every word they spoke weighed heavier on her mind. Not just together and likely monogamous, but since highschool? These two were impenetrable. She'd weaseled her way into threesomes before, but a couple like this was akin to Fort Knox. More and more it seemed that actual miracles were in order for her to be walking away from this night with anything to show for it. She turned her gaze to Jill, who was smiling as she showed off selfies she'd taken of her and Dana. A smirk crept its way onto her lips. Stranger things had certainly happened.

Alma stood up to address the room.

“Well, everyone, it's about time we all got this night really started! Jill's got herself a wife, and we have ourselves a Jill! Two parties for the price of one!” Alma paused and motioned for light cheering, getting Jill embarrassed.

“So... where are we going first, then?” Jill looked up at Alma, expectantly. Alma smiled, and pushed her glasses back up her face.

“Not so fast, Stingray! I've got a little surprise for everyone. Since you're back in the neighborhood, I think it's appropriate that we dress for the occasion!”

Jill raised an eyebrow as Alma reached behind the couch and picked up a suitcase. Stella widened her eyelid and her cybernetic eye rotated to focus on the case. The rest looked on in mild curiosity as she opened it up, and pulled out a bright pink shirt. She turned the shirt around, and got a delightfully diverse range of reactions. Jill sighed deeply, Betty snorted, Mario exhaled, Sei whistled, and Stella sputtered. Emblazoned in sparkling white lettering halfway up the chest was the word “SLUT”. Alma walked over to drape the shirt over Jill, who was doing her best to stifle a laugh and shoot a half-hearted glare.

“But, that's not all! Our night is Jill's night!” Alma flipped the suitcase over, and five more shirts spilled forth.

Betty doubled back in laughter, and Jill let her poker face fall while Alma stood proud. Mario shrugged and reached for the largest shirt of the bunch while Stella looked on in horror. She'd picked out what she thought were beautiful outfits for the night for her and Sei, and here she was being asked to put them aside in favor of a vulgar inside joke she wasn't even privy to! Even if it was Jill's party, Alma was asking far too much of a lady of her class to be seen walking around Glitch City in a shirt like this. She gathered her resolve, and stood up.

“Al-alma! You can't expect me to suddenly just change into... that! Sei and I... Sei!?” Stella lost her train of thought as she glanced to her side to see Sei casually disrobing.

“This is great, actually. Dresses get so stuffy...” Sei sighed in relief as she rolled her shoulders to drop her dress down between her knees. She stretched out and yawned, flexing her well maintained muscles.

The sudden sight of her girlfriend stripped down to her underwear and showing her biceps off caused Stella to short circuit. Her accusatory finger curled back into her palm, and she silently went to grab a shirt in her size. She looked around the room to see everyone casually changing into their SLUT shirts and brought a hand up to her mouth, shuddering.  


“Must we all change in front of each other?”

Betty glanced at her. “Come on, we're all ladies here.”

Mario looked up. “Uh...”

Betty looked at him. “I said, we're all ladies here.”

Mario sighed, and slipped his shirt on. When everyone was dressed in matching attire, Alma brought everyone in for a group hug. Jill nodded her head, and laughed. This was a stupid, stupid idea. And she loved it. Alma's night was going to be a grand time. As her party left for parts known only to the leader of the pack, she had a thought she'd never expected anyone to have had in a million years.

It was great to be back in Glitch City.


	2. Old Tricks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two nights continue down a path of certain chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been paid to finish this! So expect it done... eventually.

When Dorothy introduced her group to a door in an alleyway leading to a dark staircase downward, it was 50/50 as to whether or not this would be a sex club or some other kind of legally grey activity. Sex was expected with Dorothy, but Dorothy was unpredictable. She knew her image, she'd cultivated it. As the group descended the shady stairwell, the muffled sounds of the club below began to filter into their ears. Women groaning, the sound of flesh upon flesh. A grin began to grow on Dana's face, and Dorothy knocked a pattern onto the door. It opened up, and they were greeted to a grimy room filled with a raucous crowd watching two women beat the shit out of each other in a makeshift ring. 

“Oh yeah, this just screams 'bachelorette party'. This is exactly what I figured they did at those.” Ingram muttered, side-eying Dorothy. 

“I haven't seen passion like this in years!” Dana hopped over a bench and grabbed a ringside view, watching the women go at each other like animals. “Maybe decades. Holy fucking shit, I thought I knew every pit in this city. How did you do it, Dorothy?”

“I get to keep SOME secrets.” Dorothy sat next to Dana, and leaned back. This wasn't her area of expertise but enough time around the seedier parts of the city taught her how to find all manner of illicit acts. 

“So after we got them to outlaw dogfighting, they started doing it to each other. Hrngh... were we selfish?” Nacho postured as he watched the fight with a pensive look. 

“Boss...” Rad Shiba looked at Nacho, concerned. 

“Were we bad boys after all?” Nacho asked, looking down.

“Boss...!” Rad Shiba darted over to Nacho, hoping to comfort him. They wandered off after some words exchanged in dog language. 

“Oh geez. I should go talk to them. It's a good thing the corgis aren't this self-reflective.” Deal muttered to Gil. They had both taken up the duty of not drinking tonight, and Gil was going to have to be on his own in being the responsible one for a while as he went to go console the dogs,

Speaking of drinks, there were people walking through the crowd carrying cold bottles of beer to sell. Dorothy hailed one over, and everyone sans Gil got some cold ones to break open. She whispered in the beer seller's ear intently before he left, eliciting a knowing nod. Dana cracked the cap off her bottle as the blue fighter's rib cracked from a blow from the green fighter. She took a swig when the blue fighter appeared to double over, before grabbing the green fighter by the waist and suplexing her in a surprise counter. Dana stood up and cheered, spilling the beer in her mouth onto the floor. 

The beer seller came back and replenished Dana's beer, before giving Dorothy a small package. Ingram, sitting beside her, eyed the package with suspicion. Dorothy gazed up at him, and flashed an innocent smile. He closed his eyes, and turned back to watch the fight. He really wanted to be upset about being dragged along for this, but he just didn't have it in him to stay mad at her. The closest thing approximating a friendship he had was able to improve his normally low tolerance for things that weren't sex or drugs. That, and a nervousness being in close proximity to Dana Zane. He'd heard things. Maybe best not to rock the boat. 

Dorothy opened the package slightly, and sniffed it after she made sure Dana was too preoccupied with the show to pay attention. She nodded at the beer seller, who returned the gesture and went back to his work. Gil caught wind of Dorothy's behavior, and began to worry that she'd gotten hard drugs of some kind. He knew the night was bound to get wild and legally grey, but things could get quickly out of hand and dangerous if left unchecked. He looked to Dana to see if she seemed to know what Dorothy had procured, and saw her spike her latest beer. 

“That's it! I'm goin' in!” Dana ripped her outfit apart, revealing a red spandex crop top and shorts. 

“Wait, what!?” Dorothy and Gil both exclaimed in unison, before looking at each other with incredulity and suspicion respectively. Both were too late to stop Dana from leaping uninvited into the ring and filling the room with cheers, shouts, jeers, and chaos.

* * *

“Alma, can you explain to me in 20 words or less why we're not at a strip club right now?” Betty frowned as she side-eyed Alma. 

They were watching Jill and Sei huddled around a dusty arcade cabinet with Model Warrior Julianne décor, working together to clear the higher levels. Betty thought it was some kind of joke when their first stop was some old arcade Jill apparently liked as a kid. Alma however, stated that her intended goal with their night out was to go on a tour of Jill's life, starting from the earliest Glitch City memories that she had either divulged directly or had dug up through friendly and invasive internet history surveillance. Sounded like fun to almost everyone, but Betty figured they had about ten years of memories to get through before anything “fun” began to happen.

Stella was hunched over with her hands clenched tight, watching Sei's character intensely. She was on her last life, and Stella could barely handle the tension. A storm of enemies headed her way, seemingly leaving her with no way out, and Stella sucked in her breath before Jill activated a screen clearing attack. She allowed herself to breathe, and had to stop herself from actively cheering Sei on. Had to remind herself it was still just a video game, and one that she was only playing because Jill asked for co-op partner and didn't trust Alma not to cheat. 

“Thanks, Jill. Almost died there.” Sei turned to smile at Jill, and promptly lost her last life due to not looking at the screen. “Oop! Heh, sorry!” 

Stella squeaked in what sounded like pain before nearly fainting.

“Don't worry about it, I think I can take the rest of the game from here.” Jill narrowed her eyes as she fired a finishing shot at the penultimate boss and started the last level. 

“Are you alright, Ms. Hoshii?” Mario nervously asked as he stopped Stella from falling to the ground. 

“Oh fuck you! You're not even-” Betty began to rant at Mario as she marched over to them, but was stopped by a young girl tugging on her shirt. 

“Excuse me, miss? What does 'slut” mean?” The kid asked to a visibly confused Betty. 

She gave a confused look before she remembered what the group had all decided to wear tonight. She scanned the room for help answering that question elegantly. Jill was too preoccupied with the last level of her game, Sei was comforting Stella over her grueling loss at a decades old video game she'd never played, Mario was looking back at her in anticipation of her continued threat, and Alma was pretending to 'play' an ATM. Betty turned her head slowly back to the child and forced a smile onto her face. 

“Well! It's...” She scanned the room again. Mario and Alma were both definitely paying attention and definitely not going to jump in. “... our name! We're one big family... the sluts! We're wearing our last names on our shirts because...” She looked around one last time. Stella and Sei looked confused at the sudden tension in the air. “...most of us have brain damage. Long term amnesia. I'm the only one who can do faces but everyone else needs the shirts to find each other. I'm a doctor.” 

The girl put a thumb to her chin. Mario and Alma looked on with morbid curiosity. Stella had a growing look of horror on her face as the realization of what this conversation was about dawned on her. Sei scratched her head with a face not too dissimilar from that of the child. Jill was fighting the final boss. The room was thick with anxiety. The kid mulled the explanation over in her head a few times, and tapped her foot on the floor. She looked back up at Betty, who seemed to have aged several years in the past few seconds. 

“That makes sense. Thank you, lady!” The girl beamed, and a few audible sighs filled the room.

“So, what were you going to say to me?” Mario asked, approaching Betty. He put his hands on his hips and prepared his best haughty laugh. 

Alma snickered and put a hand on Betty's shoulder before she could continue to cause problems. “She's just joking about a little dry spell, Mario. Don't worry about it!” 

Betty turned her head to Alma, offended. “Dry spell!? I'll have you know, I-” Alma kept her smile up and put a finger to Betty's lips before leaning in to whisper.

“The kid is in earshot.” 

Betty sputtered in anger before giving up. Alma and Mario shared a chuckle while Stella and Sei started talking about the game again. The kid from before looked at everyone, before pausing and walking back over to Betty. She tugged on her shirt again, before pointing at Stella. 

“Is her eye because of the brain damage?”

The room went _dead_ silent. Stella went pale. Sei looked at her in shared anguish and tried to pull her in for a comforting hug. Betty, Mario, and Alma all froze in place. The kid immediately understood she'd done something wrong and began to panic at the reaction. The tension in the air was tenfold what it was minutes prior at the first question. 

“ **FUCK YEAH!** ” 

Jill backed off from the arcade cabinet in triumph as the game's victory music blared. She turned around and struck the pose from the show, awaiting applause that didn't come. 

“...guys?”

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to talk to me about VA-11 Hall-A, writing, or anything else, feel free to follow me on Twitter! Fair warning if this is the first story of mine you've read, it's extremely NSFW. You can find my thoughts and spicy art RTs at <https://twitter.com/NudorahRex>


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